A Dilettante :: Writer

I may not be there yet, but the journey has begun!

Fiercely Fragile!

Stony stares
Withdrawn smiles
Distant associations
Pretentious independence

Fierce she was
Fierce indeed

Fierce indeed
To those eyes
Eyes she labels the prying world

Darkened nights
Silent prayers
Tearful memories
Misplaced trust
She held them dear
She held them near

The fragility of those emotions
Sublime and pure
Privy only to the darkness of nights

Fragile she was
Only through her eyes!

Topic courtesy : Terribly Tiny Tales


Emotions Et Al!

Do I see surging waves of love
Gushing through the winds?
Do I see them rushing?
Rushing in sweet anticipation
Of a shore
Of bliss and bloom

Yes, I do
Yes, I do

Love, they say, conquers all;
Haughty and triumphant
In the battlefield of emotions et al
Wonder, I do
Does this hold true?

The raging flames of fury
The gnawing claws of envy
The gluttonous glances of greed
The distant dances of distrust
And the prying pangs of pain
Powerful, aren’t they?

Or do you still say,
happiness shall prevail
for love conquers all?

If only you choose, my dear
If only, you choose;
Love shall wear the crown

Emotions are such
Choose what you should
And so shall you get!

A clandestine affair!

Once a persistent companion. Now a forgotten memory. An impression that callously invades the chambers of her reckless mind when the goddess of sleep is at her nasty best. Oh, does she miss those days when conversations were endless and happiness seamless? Maybe she does; maybe not.

Once a friend. Now a nagging guilt. Maybe a missed thought when her heart soars in happiness or sags in pain.

Lost were the days when they shared a vibe. Be it the fears that ripped her apart or the passions that fueled her, he was averse to none. From a day that held her in splits to a moment that brought tears, it was for him to know. A thought that touched her heart; a soul that made her smile; an idea that courted her mind; it was all for him. And he was all ears. A tune that played on her lips or a note that held her breath; he was always the first to know. The innocence of her childhood. The experiences that moulded her. The ideals that she lived by. The insecurities that doused her. He knew it all. For the longest time. Not anymore.

She often wonders, did she burn those memories for good? Years of togetherness up in flames for the fear of being tarnished. Such was the identity of their relationship. Profound. Yet clandestine.

With yet another futile attempt to tame a demon named sleep, she makes a promise. A promise to pick the shards of a forgotten love and weave stories afresh.

The pages of her diary fluttered in inexplicable bliss.


In moments that shower smiles
And feelings that spell joy
In mistakes that usher in tears
And lessons that hold for life

Some characters take form

Between what was and what is
And some what could have beens
Unfolding a past ages behind

A story comes to life

Tugging at the deterministic reins of a stubborn heart
Piercing the stoic pieces of a wishful soul
Dancing at random to unruly tunes

A composition stands rendered

Seizing the deserted spaces of an unrelenting mind
Reminiscent of the days gone by
Memories; the good, the bad and the ugly
Clinging to a past long lost

Stage a symphony on the podium of life

Reliving some moments of soulful bliss
And some more that broke thy heart
Licking wounds that did never heal
Longing for a time left behind

Memories live another life!


Today’s thy day!


A woman; how do I define her?

By the many relationships that she plays?
A cliche, ain’t it?
Written and rewritten a thousand times
If I could have a word,
She is not to be defined by those self-constrained roles!

How about the glorified plethora of virtues?
She is deemed and doomed to possess
Selflessness, did they say?
Or sacrifice?
Oh, there are many more
And some more
Blacks and whites
I wish the world spoke of grays!

Did you just mention her weaknesses?
Her vulnerabilities and her helplessness
Her fears and her anger
Her doubts and her insecurities
Do you let them define her?
No, my dear!
She is worth a thousand suns
Pardon her little flaws!

Judge her, call her names
She shall not be defined by your standards of normality
Label her, let her down
She shall rise from the flames and sing a Phoenix song
Tame her or blame her
A matter of time, she shall prove you wrong

A woman; I cannot define
For she defines herself
Roles or virtues
Vices or flaws
None define her!
For she defines herself
Her choices are her’s; none but her’s
Her passions and obsessions
Her love and hate
Her flaws and strengths
She chooses to define what defines her!

A day to celebrate her
Ask if I may, does she need one?
Maybe. Maybe not.
Nonetheless I wish,
Happy Women’s Day!!

Destiny re-Defined!

Destiny, I have been named
Fate, my alter
When the world sleeps,
I take my course
Or so they say

Me, you define
By the lines across your palm
Or the stars that rule your charts
Maybe, by the numbers that you hold
The colors that you wear
Or the alphabets in your name

Me, you search
Among the gems in your hand
Or the prayers in your heart
And at the end of it all
You label me hard
For life isn’t fair
And I had my way

Pardon my distaste,
A paradise, you build
A fool’s one at that
If you leave it to me

Find me in the chances you take
And the choices you make
The stars and the galaxies, my dear
Have no role to play

Destiny I am,
Meant to be or not
I dont find my way
Hunt me with deeds that stand apart
And sow the seeds of a future divine
Failures shall come by
Success will follow

As the revered Jung says,
“You are not what happened to you
You are what you choose to become”

Destiny, you define
In the choices that you make!

Cynically Creative!

Excellence, proclaimed a voice
You are no genius; the judgement sealed
Your words, plain
Your lines, crooked
Your colors, lacklustre
Your story, average
For talent, you lack!
The harshness of those words;
Drowned all that was left of a little soul

Her tiny world had limited means
Crashing it came yet again
I am no good,
A drop of tear touched her beloved diary
Screamed she, albeit in silence
I feel the weight of thy burdens
And I shall take no more,
A decision she made
An artist’s soul
Succumbed to its injuries

The little child took to her books
Literary and otherwise
Literary she adored
Confessed it was, to none
Her pursuit was dead
In the graveyard of her dreams

Years later,
She found an accomplice
An accomplice to revive
The dead pieces of her soul
United she felt in a pursuit she had assumed dead
Confidence didn’t come easy
The ghosts of the past came to haunt
The child in her looked for acceptance
Flow it did, and how!

Thus started a journey;
A journey marked for none but her
Judgements and labels
Bothered her not
Alive she felt in the company of her words
Words make; and words break
And she stands testimony to that
For she labels herself,
Cynically Creative!!

Borders Or Bridges?

Borders Or Bridges

A lingering question
That oft haunts my psyche
Borders, says the dictatorial voice in my mind
Bridges, echoes the melancholic strings of my heart

Burn the bridges
Build the borders
The wounds in your heart
And the scars on your soul
Aren’t they lesson enough for you?
That heap in your heart has reached its brim
One more drop and you shall not be you
Do you have it in you,
To lose what is left of you?

My mind, the master orator;
I ask of thee, isn’t there something that we call hope?

Yes, my dear; there is this magic they call hope, says he
But do you have it in you to be the subject of it?
Do you not deserve your time to heal,
Before you bring in bruises afresh?
Harsh I may sound, but the truth is so
Burn the bridges
Build the borders
I wish you good; you need not take more
Go find yourself
Before you build bridges anew

The wounds are on me
The scars are on me
Who are you to make this call?
Complained my heart in bitter reproach
Burn the bridges?
The bridges that I hold so dear
What will be left of me with those bridges burnt?
Without those bridges, a lifeless soul I shall be
Is that what you ask of me, dear mind?

Naive, you were
And naive you shall be
The borders were built eons ago
You didn’t consent
Now, what use could you put your bridges to?
I make no call;
Its your choice to make
Bruises if you choose;
I shall not deny you
In case you do not know,
I hate to see you in such pain
Yet; I shall stand by every choice you make

A war of words
And a beautiful one at that!
Burn the bridges or build some new?
Clear the borders or build some new?
The bitter-sweet battle
Of my heart and my mind
Will continue to be!

How much I wish some choices came easy!

Almost Always!

Almost always they say; Almost always
Me, the lesser known sibling to always
Isn’t that how I have been best known
Almost always?

Me, the symbol of all things missed
Missed by a whisker
Almost always!

The gold that missed its spot
And labelled itself silver
A moment that lost its charm
Before you could call it a memory
The seed that died a mournful death
Before you could wish for a tree
A relationship that ceased to be
Before it were called marriage
An idea that killed itself
Before you could name it a venture
A lamp that blew itself off
Before it could wade away the dark
An emotion that choked itself
Before you could lend it to the world
A dream that you woke up to
Before you could give it life
Thats me, Almost

My identity : a shadow
My glory : a missed step
My destination : just about there
All so near; yet so far
Almost always
Almost always

Almost; till it becomes always
And I cease to be
Except in tales of failures
That metamorphosed to successes
Is it for me to find glory in those epics of accomplishment?
I wonder; often!

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