Benjamin Franklin once said,
Never ruin an apology with an excuse!
I am sorry I hurt you. I never meant to. My circumstances aren’t too good! My state of mind isn’t right! My problems; they are surmounting!
This and much more! Excuses don’t stop at that. As if it was the fault of the victim that he was hurt. Being unaware was his mistake. Or being aware and still taking all of it to heart was an indication that he doesn’t care. Or that he is selfish. That he insists on bringing upon more sorrow on you. And still acts victimized.
Don’t we all relate to this state of affairs? Aren’t we guilty of being perpetrators of hurt and following it up with explanations that justify our conduct? Haven’t we all gone through periods of hurt and were made to feel guilty of expression of the same? Rings a bell somewhere?
I relate to both. Been there. Done that. And it isn’t the most amazing feeling in the world. To hurt. Or to be hurt. And it is often too late before you realize or repent. What is lost may be lost forever. Only guilt stays for company. For a lifetime.
An excuse reinforces the notion that you are not really sorry. The apology is a mere formality. Somewhere deep down you probably believe that you have the right to hurt someone just because your circumstances weren’t right. Out of nowhere, your past and present come calling. They become characters of a story you create. To justify all that was not right; all that your stubborn mind refuses to accept.
The heart shall not be fooled though. Knock at it’s door and you are sure to get your answers. That’s some food for thought!